In case you ever need to brighten your day: Best of Olivia Wilde's Twitter

• Is it wrong that the only time I've been in the gym in the last month is to buy peanut butter smoothies? I try my best to lunge in and out.
• A mosquito just bit my ass so hard it almost felt good. Except now I can't sit down without a hemroid pillow. #thanksmaryland
• Wait I forgot- running smack into a blind man while texting - good luck or bad luck?
• Auto-correct strikes again. My phone turns "fed" into "F'ed" which is awkward when telling my roommate I gave the dog his food.
• Woot woot! Teen Choice Awards Nomination whaaaat? So awesome. Thank you guys very much. I'm glad teens like Dr. shows and not just porn.
• I know I'm in new york when I find myself at Sing Sing at 3am karaoke-ing my balls off with a bunch of beautiful strangers...and pizza.
• in a thousand years archeologists will dig up tanning beds and think we fried people as punishment.
• AAND my favorite:
• Glad the rapture didn't happen since I just got waxed.